I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
