you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
