i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
