I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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