you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
