Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
