but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
