I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
