So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
