I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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