I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
