I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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