dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We need to get me chipped asap
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
