hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think my mom watched the whole time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
