I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
