She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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