She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
