I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
