When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i dont even know how to be here
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
