I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
