So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
