all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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