i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
