I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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