I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
