I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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