very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
