I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
