rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
