Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
