"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
