i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
