Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
