Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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