david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
