I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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