Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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