if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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