I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
