why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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