so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
