I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
