guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
