I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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