her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
