rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
