I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The struggles of a small town man whore
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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