So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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