But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
