??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
