I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
